The Inside of You

I am reminded of my inner qualities as I celebrate my 45th birthday today.  This 45th celebration serves as a major life marker for me. It is so easy to get caught up in my perceived flaws of aging along with all the other beauty standards I do not meet.  Or at least the standards setup by recent social media lists of the ten hallmarks of a beautiful woman – something like that.  I considered the layers of skin I wanted to pull off based on that list as I so vehemently tried to meet the standards at the same time.  I thought of the invaluable beauty that is inside me and radiates throughout my being. I am reminded how I overcame so many obstacles and challenges by building up my courage and strength.  I considered all the setbacks that tried to keep me from over leaping those hurdles. The hurdles that tried to keep me from reaching my level of confidence when I was flooded with doubt. I considered the unyielding love and generosity I bestow onto others. A measure that I allow to overflow even when I feel they do not deserve it.  Most importantly, I am reminded how I always reached deep down to tap into that resolute faith that always assured me I was never alone.  That through all of life’s challenges, disappointments, joys, wonders, blissful experiences, I learned to always be grateful for the opportunities that allowed me to grow upward even in the midst of shadows. That the light was always able to reach me, through that darkness, in order that I should continue to thrive and grow. I’ve come forward now regardless if I met the social standards or not. Because after all, there is this beauty inside me that I am pleased with and willing to share.  These qualities that I have racked up as I have taken this labyrinthine life roadmap.  It is up to others to determine if they are willing to see the inside of me for what it is worth.  If they are willing to take that deep dive to get to know me, grow with me, learn from me, and surrender to love me.  That is the practice of finding the true beauty.  To finding the beauty inside of you.