Shedding Skin

As I go through what I perceive to be my spiritual growth and personal maturity, I cannot help but to think of how I am letting go of some dead weight.  Letting go so that I can make room for thoughts and ideas that are promising to my personal development.  I build up this idea, of monumental personal and spiritual growth, firing off neural synapses that allows me to level up and build upon a new internal philosophy.  During these periods of introspection, I often think of snakes shedding their skin as they go through their growth spurt.  I am fascinated by the snake’s ability to shed skin and how the process leaves remnants of old skin behind as evidence that growth and change occurred.  Left behind is a part of the snake that no longer served a specific purpose or specific function. I liken this whole process to the changes taken place within myself. In the metaphysical, I can only sense that change is taking place within me and left to know change occurred by my decisions and behaviors.

My skin is my largest organ, my largest defense system protecting me from the elements that float around attaching themselves and clinging to me. I found myself walking around carrying these particles – a past hurt, trauma, negative experiences, so on and so forth – as well as these parasites that take up the space of my personal and spiritual growth. Further inhibiting my growth by not realizing that I was holding on to these things to guard me against re-occurrences.  I should have realized that I had to let these things go instead of building a faux defense system.  I set out my own determinations to be my own provider. Set up my goals, set up my plans, set up my own acceptable level of resiliency based on my terms that defined failure was never an option. I walked around defining my coat of arms, thickening my skin - around dead skin - in order to prevent any destructive entry that would puncture through my very being.  I kept building up and holding on to things that came through enculturation or some merely by deciding how to adapt to my circumstances.  The end goal was to always stay ahead of the game.  And so now, instead of always giving myself the pep talk, I am learning to let go in order to grow.  Learning to leave it all behind and learning to change my narrative. Observing my shell left behind.